Initial Disclaimer: This could all change a lot between now and any potential bill passage. So, with that grain of salt, here's what is known. The F4 category would be phased out within 18 months of the law's enactment. However, those who are currently waiting to process will be allowed to move forward, regardless of when the visa number becomes available. There is nothing certain proposed on backlogs, as far as I know, but they want to clear those out quickly. USCIS won't begin to "legalize"...
I'm sorry to hear about the divorce. In short, yes, you can file to remove the conditions at any time after the divorce is final. You'll have to do more work to convince USCIS that your marriage was "real," and for that, you should strongly consider having an attorney help you out.
The spouse will not be able to gain U-2 status until the U-1 applicant starts the process of becoming a lawful permanent resident (three years from the time of U approval).. In order to derive U status, the couple needed to have been married at the time of the original filing.
Whatever you decide to do, you'll want to move quickly. Schedule an appointment with an attorney (and you and your parents all need to go) to talk about the situation and if asylum is appropriate or if there's some other way to stay in the United States.
I'm sorry to hear about the tough situation you are in. Since you are divorced, the I-130, even though approved, is no longer valid. You cannot use it as a basis to get a new work card. If you filed a new I-485 with the I-360, you will get a new work card through that application.
The EAD is actually based on your I-485 and not the VAWA I-360. As long as you have a pending I-485, you should be able to renew your work card. You may need to switch the code, so it wouldn't be a bad idea to have an attorney help you, since you're switching from a marriage-based adjustment to self-petitioning status.
It sounds as though you did everything right. What you may want to do is schedule an InfoPass appointment with the USCIS nearest to you and just make sure that your file is being transferred to North Carolina. The transferring of cases can take a long time, so waiting a few months isn't out of the ordinary. Also, if you didn't do it at the time, make sure you do an AR-11 change of address online.
I'm sorry to her about your long wait. Have you called the National Customer Service line? They might be able to answer some basic questions or at least try and get your case in front of someone for a review. There are many reasons why some cases take longer than others - so it's possible that all of things you have noted here have delayed the case. There are extensive background checks and immigration checks that have to be done. At the end of the day, though, call the National Customer...