The retired judge who is conducting the settlement conference cannot issue orders. He or she is not acting in a judicial capacity, but instead, is providing the benefit of years of judicial experience. The purpose of the conference is to assist the two parties in coming to a settlement. The "real" judge can order drug testing.
So long as HE has lived the for the period required by the statute in ID, you can proceed there. You can file in VA if he agrees or if you just want a divorce and no other relief and have lived here for 6 months, you also can file here.
If the case is found to have a more appropriate venue elsewhere, the court can transfer it to the new city. Norfolk is a popular venue for filing divorces; however, the court has started transferring venue in cases on its own motion. This can cause some delay if it happens. You are better off not to raise the issue if you want the divorce to go smoothly.
Attorneys who provide consultations in family law matters (myself included) will generally charge a consultation fee. Unless you want to waste an hour of your time, avoid the "free consultations" which consist of a sales pitch but provide very little, if any, substantive advice.
Also look for a lawyer who concentrates in this area of the law. With something this important, you do not want a jack of all trades.
Circuit Courts are not particularly user friendly nor are they a court of forms. Litigants are expected to be able to prepare their own pleadings.
While I was not in court and thus cannot dispute your version of what the judge said, he may have suggested that you speak with an attorney ABOUT filing a Motion to Quash. Since your question is in the Family Law section, chances are that the medical records would be relevant to some issue in a divorce or custody case and would not be quashed, in...
You do not forfeit an interest in the real estate by moving out; however, it is always better to try to have a writtten Agreement prior to moving. If direct discussions are unsuccessful, I suggest that you try mediation.
If the parties agree to change it. If it is child custody or child support and there has been a material change of circumstances. If there is a provision in the Agreement that something can be changed. In other words, it depends. Consult an attorney who can review the particulars of your Agreement.