You can't force them to speed anything up. Is there a chain of title issue (causing the delay)?
Bankruptcy would be a quick and easy way for you to walk away, but that decision would require further info on your financial circumstances.
Plain and simple, if you want to walk away and "take the penalty", what's stopping you from just moving out and on with your life? The penalty will come sooner or later, but its not stopping you at this point.
No. You're in a good position. Depending on your divorce terms/agreement, you may want to consider just living in the house (rent-free) until it forecloses. Why sell it? Just pay for the utilities that you like (such as water, power etc). Foreclosure will take several months, if not 1-3 years.
It doesn't seem reasonable that one tenant would be responsible for everything... but the bylaws would have to be studied a little more.
If they are lying to you to get your money, they have serious issues and you may have a countersuit.