Are you telling us that you have let this dangerous behavior occur for several years without taking any action? If, as my colleague recommended, your husband will not agree for the child to go to counseling, or the counseling sessions do not help, you should consider speaking to an attorney to discuss taking steps to remove your children from the situation before serious injury occurs.
You are not required to share everything, but you are required to disclose where the child is staying and with whom. However, you do not have to tolerate being harassed. There are reasonable ways to share information that does not involve contentious behavior. Since you have an attorney you new to discuss this issue with him/her.
I would suggest that you contact the bar association to see if they have a list of attorneys who will take your case for a reduced fee if you cannot qualify for legal aid services. You have a difficult situation and there are a lot of issues that need to be resolved. It will be very difficult to navigate this situation on your own.
You will need to retain an experienced family law attorney to file a custody action. If the court determines that the children are in an unhealthy environment, a temporary order awarding primary custody to you can be entered, but the court will consider a list of factors. Your chance of success will increase significantly if you have an attorney.
You cannot contact the Judge. You must file the proper documents in order to bring you case before the court. However, without an attorney, you can get mired in procedural problems when the solution is not complicated. Since you have been separated for two years, you can file for a Master to be appointed to resolve the divorce. You need to retain an attorney to properly resolve your case.
My colleagues have given you excellent advice. Unless there has been a major change in the custody circumstances since the agreement was reached that would warrant a change in the custody arrangment that you recent agreed upon, it is unlikely that the court will consider changing the schedule. That being said, if the father will agree to change the custody arrangments, you should speak to your attorney about preparing a Stipulation for his signature. Once the Stipulation is signed...
Debts created during the marriage are generally marital debts available for distribution regardless of whose name the debt is in. However, this does not mean that she will be ordered to pay one-half of the debt. Typically, there is an offset for her share in the overall distribution. You should review this matter with an experienced family law attorney.
If custody is shared equally and your incomes are the same, neither of you should owe child support to the other unless she has other expenses such as day care, private school tuition, etc. in that case, you would be ordered to pay a share of the expense so that your incomes remain equalized. You should speak with an attorney.
I would urge you to retain a local family law attorney as soon as possible so that the evidence that you gathered can be propery and effectively presented to the court. Since he is seeking a transfer of custody, I am assuming that he has retained an attorney. If you do not have representation, you will be at a disadvantage because you do not know the rules of evidence and some of the evidence that you gathered may not be admissible without a witness to testify the documents are authentic....