I would suggest that you meet with an attorney who is experienced in family and bankruptcy law as these issues intertwine when one of the parties has filed for bankruptcy protection. You may not be able to file for divorce until the bankruptcy has been discharged, so you are going to have to know your rights and options before making any decisions.
You cannot rescind the equitable distribution order granting your former spouse a portion of your pension unless he consents. Typically, remarriage has no effect on the distribution of pension benefits pursuant to an Agreement or Court Order. I am assuming that there is a Qualified Domestic Relations Order in place.
I agree with my colleague that you need to insist that she provide medical documentation or testimony to prove that her health conditions prevent her from working full time. Also, your attorney can subpoena her employment file to see if there was another reason for her job change.
If he won't cooperate, your only other option is to file a Petiton to modify the order that you have. You will have a greater likelihood of success if you retain an experienced family law attorney to represent you in this process.
Based solely on the information contained in your question, if he wishes to have a relationship with his child, I beleive that the court would give him an opoportunity to do so, but because of the age of the child, this may be very difficult. The child's input will be considered by the court and the Judge may suggest counseling to determine whether they can develop a relationship. If the child wishes to have a relationship with his father, it is likely that a partial custody order can be...
You need to meet with an attorney who is experienced in family law and bankruptcy matters right away before your husband makes other financial decisions that could either divest you of your share of his existing retirement accounts or funds are moved so that they cannot be traced. Otherwise, you are risking the possibility that these accounts will be liquidated and funds will be hidden from you. Do not delay.
Since it appears that he has voluntarily relinquised his custody periods with the child, you should have your attorney prepare a Consent Order as soon as possible confirming that you have primary physical custody of the child so that it can be presented to him for signature before he changes his mind. If he won't sign, you will need to file a Petition for modification of the existing order to confirm that fact that the child lives with you. Otherwise, if he later decides that he made a...
If you have been separated for two years, you can file for a Master in order to finalize your case. However, you should retain an experienced family law attorney to give you more specific advice. Perhaps he/she can resolve your case by agreement without having to go that route.