While I cannot give you an answer as to why they would not hire you, you need to consult with an attorney in person. You may check out DACA retirements at the USCIS website. You need to show continuance presence and be in the US at the time of application. DACA is also for those who do not have a legal status.
It all depends on how soon you can become a US citizen. Yes, if your spouse does not want to accumulate any unlawful presence time, then she should depart the US and wait outside of the country. At the same time, you should be aware that once you are a US citizen, even if your spouse will be "out of status" for some time, she will still be able to receive a green card.
You need to take certificate of disposition and minutes of guilty plea and consult with an Immigration attorney. Do not leave the country without the consultation. You can choose and attorney and make an arrangement with him/her as to your payments if you need it (like an escrow account).
1. I am sorry but I don't think you can get help on this forum. If the case is in consular proceedings, they might have referred it for administrative processing. That's all I can tell you. You may hire an attorney to contact the consulate and find out more.
If it was a single incident, 14 years ago, you should be fine. Submit the originals of dispositions, and take another set of originals with you to the interview. Consulting with an attorney prior to submission might be a good idea. Don't forget to attach records of your rehabilitation, or all the good you did since the arrest. Good luck!