Other than to say that you will be responsible for the support of the child, as well as have a right to visit with the child (and the child will in turn have a right to inherit from you), I am otherwise unclear on what "legal position" you're inquiring about. That said, I encourage you to schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody/Support lawyer.
(1) By "separate money," do you mean money you brought into the marriage segregated into a separate account? If so, this would generally keep the asset separate.
(2) If marital funds are used to enhance separate property, then generally it's the active appreciation (not the whole house value) which is divisable.
(3) If property is either purchased or has active appreciation during the marriage, then the non-title holding spouse doesn't need to have resided there.
(4) If, for instance, you...
Here's the issue - if you file in the wrong county, you run the risk of a Judge transferring it to the proper county & thus doubling the time (at least) for your judgment to be signed. There's no tremendous difference between the counties (perhaps a month or two) so rather than run even a small risk that your case gets transferred, you're best advised to file in the county where you reside. For a full assessment, schedule a consultation with a NYC Divorce attorney.
You may try to file an order to show cause (along with another violation petition) in an attempt to speed up the court date. You should also keep a paper-trail, confirming each communication you have with her. In the interim, call her bluff & offer to take your child before/after the event which is scheduled and/or offer to accompany her to the event. In any event, you should schedule a consultation with a Westchester Child Custody attorney for a full assessment.
I assume you are under 21? If so, your school's financial aid office should be able to assist you with the applications you need. You may otherwise consider filing your own child support petition in court seeking either an order of support, or alternatively a declaration of emancipation. Should you need assistance with same, I then suggest you call a Bronx Co. Child Support lawyer to schedule a consultation.
First, you must immediately file for custody if you truely want your daughters to live with you instead of with her. The longer you wait, the more likely it will be that the Judge will wonder why you didn't file sooner. Second, as to whether you should file for an order of protection, her merely threatening to report you to USCIS is not grounds to file for same. If there are other reasons, you should review them with an attorney. Finally, you always have a risk of deportation. Whether that...
Generally speaking, no. She may under certain circumstances file an application to have the other side reimburse her counsel fees. On the tax issue, I suggest you consult an accountant for a more definitive opinion. On the counsel fee issue, I encourage you to schedule a consultation with a NYC Child Custody lawyer.
Unfortunately, speed things up he may need to be more aggressive in the case - like starting to file motions if she's been non-compliant. All this costs more money, however - thus the adage: "an attorney is as aggressive as his client's pays him to be." Schedule a consultation with a NYC Divorce attorney to receive a full assessment & 2d opinion.
Here's the problem with the flat-out "no" answer to your question: if your spouse makes substantially less than you & does not have access to health coverage through an employer, once the divorce does start, the Judge would be highly likely to: (a) order reinstatement of coverage, (b) if the Judge perceievs you terminated coverage out of spite, the Judge may make you reimburse any uncovered health care expenses. For a full assessment, schedule a consultation with a NYC Family Law attorney.