there is no prosecutor at restraining order hearings. the party seeking the restraining order acts as the prosecutor since this is considered a civil case. you can contact the court to see if you can get an adjournment however this is not likely in a FRO hearing unless you have a very good excuse.
if you do not show up, your wife will have to prove the case against you. if she does, she will get a restraining order based on her testimony. your restraining order will be dismissed if you do not...
you really should have consulted an attorney before going to court on the FRO hearing. Based on what you are saying, it is very likely that an attorney would have been able to dismiss the TRO, courts are hesitant to grant restraining orders based on verbal abuse/harassment unless it is very extreme.
However now that you have agreed to civil restrains and agreed to stay out of the house, it will difficult to contest it.
Generally you have as much right to stay in your home as your wife until...
If you are applying for a law enforcement agency, you should certainly mention that you were arrested on suspicion of DUI but tested negative and were given a ticket for careless driving.
They will do a very thorough background check and I am certain your arrest will come up. So if you don't mention it, it will look bad.
A FRO is a very serious matter. You should contact an attorney right away. You really should have an attorney represent you at the FRO hearing. An experienced attorney may be able to have the TRO dismissed based on the circumstances of the case.
NJ Family Courts, which handle these cases, have very wide jurisdiction. Even if the event took place in NY, the jurisdiction may be proper because the Plaintiff lives in NJ and allegedly needs protection in NJ.
FRO consequences in NJ are quite...
It is usually a good idea to at least talk to a lawyer before making any decisions in such a case. a shoplifting charge will stay on your record and can prevent you from getting certain jobs and otherwise interfere with your career.
An experienced attorney would be able to either get your case dismissed if there are problems with evidence, etc or get you into a diversionary program so that your charge is dropped after you do probation
the divorce decree cannot release you from responsibility for mortgage. the bank is not party to your divorce so they can come after both parties even if they divorced and one of the parties released the other from responsibility.
you may have a claim against your former spouse if the bank comes after you but you will not be removed from the mortgage unless the home is refinanced under your ex-spouse name only.
you should call your local bar association. I am assuming that would be Bergen County bar association for you. They may set you up with someone who is doing pro bono work or on a reduced fee basis.
Generally speaking you are entitled to have a public defender for free (which you have) or you can go out and get a private attorney. Those are the two main options.
You can check with Legal Aid as well.
all of the above are theoretically possible depending on the circumstances. Generally speaking if it is for personal use and it is your first offense, if caught you would be arrested and would have to go to municipal court. at that point you would like be able to enter a diversionary program which upon completion would allow you to avoid criminal record.
if you are in a motor vehicle at the time you face loss of driver license and stiff fines.
As other counsel pointed out, more information is needed. However based on limited information you provided, it would appear that permanent alimony is warranted. Alimony will be based on your income and your husband's income. So if you file for divorce before he retires, his current income will be the basis of the calculation.
However once he does retire (at an appropriate age), he can apply to the court to re-calculate the alimony based on changed circumstances (i.e. permanent retirement)...