my question is would i have a better chance of primary custody in a court case? he started this process, and I had not considered it. After reading about it sounded okay. but now that its gone on things have happened like my attorney calling my daughters therapist without consulting me first and then charging for the conference. Also, since he is unavailable due to mental illness he denies and i currently do all the parenting, i dont want to give this up to someone who refuses to get help and
continues to deny. Seems a pscyh evaluation might be better as these are facts and he is going for 50-50 custody even though he is either sleeping or not home.
I think you know the correct path and are looking for validation. I validate. If you can collaboratively reach a position that you feel is safe for your child given what you know your estranged husband's mental health issues are, then collaboration is the least expensive and least violative manner to achieve the objective you know is in the best interests of your child. If you cannot reach that point in the collaborative process because of the 'games' being played by opposing counsel and others, remove it and go to the adversarial process and develop the case through evidence to obtain what you feel is in your child's best interests. It will be expensive, difficult and without certainty, but you will have given it your best shot. I am sorry you are exposed to this type of collaborative process, as it is advanced as not having these problems, but no divorce process involving custody issues is perfect. Tell your existing attorney, and if that attorney won't do what you feel is right, get another one. Be strong. This will get worse before it gets better, but there will be an end and peace for yourself. Good luck.