I actually DID file an Answer with the court when their attorney would not give me a copy of the PSA. I knew the 35 days was running out for me to reply and I advised them to protect myself, I would send in an answer if I didn't receive the PSA . BUT the attorney already filed the form where I waived the 35 days, so I don't think my answer is allowed at that point anyway?

I understand their attorney will not protect my interest, but they can lie and change the written agreement me and my ex had? How is that legal?

I am not suggesting in any way that your ex's attorney is permitted to trick you or lie to you or the court. If your Answer was not "filed" because you previously executed a "waiver," there are steps you can take to vacate your "waiver" and see that your Answer is filed and your rights protected. It is impossible to provide you with all the details involved in this forum. If you are uncomfortable proceeding without counsel or want to assure your rights are protected I must strongly recommend that you hire an attorney.

Thank you for your input. I appreciate it. Let me ask you one more question. I do not contest the divorce and neither does me ex.
Should I wait until the hearing and see if they try to 'change' things
or should I just file to vacate the 'waiver' now and then file for a contested divorce or maybe just the notice of appearance?

Whether you file an Answer or an Appearance you would acheive your goal. If you wait until the hearing date it is possible that a Judge could take action over your objection, citing the fact that you waived your right to file an Answer or other contest the litigation. While most Judge's may allow you to be heard or to secure an adjournment and opportunity to file a responsive pleading if on the hearing date you noted an objection, you cannot be guaranteed an opportunity to protect your interests without having addressed these issues in advance of the hearing date.

Is there a form I would need to use to vacate the "waiver" in Essex County? I'm really in a hurry since the hearing is coming up, so any guidance would be helpful! You have been a big help!!!!

There is no exact form to acquire from the courthouse. As an attorney, I would ask your ex's attorney to execute a Consent Order allowing for the relief I wanted. If the consent was withheld the next option is to file a Motion.

Her attorney will not do that.. lol They wouldn't even give me the PSA! AND won't tell me the hearing date! Can I just file the motion?

You can file a Motion. Otherwise, I must respectfully suggest that your inquire with me has exceeded the expectations of this forum. If you remain uncomfortable proceeding unrepresented I must respectfully suggest that you retain an attorney to assist you.

I understand. I appreciate your time! Have a good day.