my ants name is 1st on the power of attorney before my dad's. and yes my grandma is incompetent so she can not determine where to live. if my dad takes her to where we want her my ant will refuse to help pay and says my dad will have to pay it all. (he is retired/unemployed so we cant). and because my ants name is 1st, doctors and other people say they have to listen to her and her word is finale...but because she lives out of state when she is not around dose that mean my dad would be the power of attorney or would they have to do what my ant want..
If your aunt is ahead of your dad, there would appear to be two options: 1) work something out with your aunt; 2) go to probate court to try to have your dad appointed as guardian/conservator. The first option is always better, if you can do it. If not, I do not see any other option. It is currently up to your aunt to determine what is in your grandmother's best interest.