Hi Kenneth,

Yes we have a whole bunch of issues going on all at the same time. Things have gotten very confusing. We had no warning that my Dad was going to pass, and it happened very suddenly, due to the stress he was under, taking care of everyone including my Grandmother. His heart gave out and I was all of a sudden put in his position. I'm the only blood relative left. So being 33 years old, and knowing nothing about law, nursing homes, Will's, etc, I'm having to learn as I go and having to write everything I learn down. My Mom depended 100 percent on my dad who took care of everything. When he passed my mom was completely lost and crying on a daily basis. I personally was emotionally messed up for a long time. However I had to put aside my emotions, suck it up, and take care of business, not only for my Mom's sake, for more for the sake of my Grandmothers safety and health. I couldn't allow her to fend for herself with Dementia. I love her too much and it would kill me if anything happened to her. Plus my Grandmother always took care of me growing up, made sure I was safe and was always there. So this is the LEAST I can do for her.

I know my Dad had paperwork that I saw briefly that he got from the lawyer. I only skimmed over it. He has everything together in an envelope. I know my Dad a witness along with the original attorney for the POA.

As far as the Will which I was there for. We had a lawyer draw up the paperwork, he said to have my Grandmother sign it, after it's been noterized at her bank in front of a witness. So that's what we had done with that. So her Will is all set which we are glad about.

Oh wow! You live in West Bloomfield! That might make it easier for us and you too! I'll let my mom know since she already has a lawyer in mind. Plus I received a response from another lawyer on her Robert Mannor that I also have to let my mom know about. It's her decision and money.

Depending on what my mom decides she wants to do, if she wants to get together, would you mind coming to our house? Would that work for you? I know my mom won't drive to Plymouth. She can't ride for very long in a vehicle due to an Inner Ear Disease.

Just to let you know my Grandmother has the last stages of Dementia. We just found that out within the last 2 months. So one minute she is mentally all with us and knows what's going on. The next minute she may be starring at the wall. Sometimes she has severe mood swings along with anger. Sometimes she is so confused, that she can't even remember, what someone said 5 minutes ago, or who anyone is. So we try to take it minute to minute with her and day to day. We never know what mental state she's going to be in. Sometimes with doctors, nurses, caregivers, etc, she'll be herself and do whatever they ask. Other times if they do something she doesn't want, or doesn't agree with, and if they don't stop, she'll get physically violent, and start hitting/kicking. This doesn't happen often so believe it or not she's not a real threat. It's only if she feels threatened in some way she defends herself. She'll only get violent like that if someone touches her, and doesn't stop when she asks them to.

If your grandmother has dementia then she can not execute any estate planning documents. You may need to get a guardianship or conservatorship at the probate court. If you call me we can discuss this further. I often go out to houses, nursing homes etc. As a reminder, I am on vacation next week.  Ken

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Hi Ken,

Not a problem at all. We have tons of other stuff to work on in the meantime, just in case my mom, decides she wants to give you a call or if other situations don't work out. We are overloaded with the amount of stuff we have to do. All of which are important and need to be taken care of.

Yeah we have nothing set as far as my Grandmothers Estate. We are not even touching that area, until my mom chooses a lawyer. We don't want to have my Grandmother in a nursing home, and then for example transfer her home to us, or even sell it and then get ourselves in trouble financially later. I just recently learned how that works to a point. I don't want us ending up in a bad position. I really don't want anything happening to my Grandmothesr Estate. She wants it kept int he family. However financially we may not have a choice. It's just a depressing situation all around, for us and for my Grandmother. I'd rather have her in her own home where she's comfortable and happy. However I had to think about her health, and safety, above and beyond, her comfort and happiness. It's was a horrible position to be put in. My Grandmother had hate me after this when she finds out it's me making the decisions. If my Grandmother was all there in the head she would accept things. However with the Dementia she is fighting everyone which is not like her.