Hi Robert,

Thank you so much for getting back to me so soon. I really appreciate your time. I just found an Attorney in Troy that is Elder Law. I'm just waiting for a consultation. He emailed me right before I got your message and wants to meet with us.

However I'm going to tell my mom your offer, of meeting at your office in Farmington Hills, since it's closer to where we live instead of going out to Troy. I'll let you know what she decides either way. Since her name is on the Will, I've been letting her handle things, except Power of Attorney which my Grandmother would want me to have. We are trying to go with what my Grandmother would want and what she's told us in the past before she became ill.

What you say makes complete sense now that's it's explained to me. Thank you and I'll let my mom know as well. The lawyer we talked to on the phone didn't explain any of that to my mom. He spoke to her as if he were accusing us of stuff. My mom almost hung up on him calling him a jerk.

My Grandmother's Dementia has become far worse within the last couple of months. She went from having "moments" to totally forgetting people in the family. This caught us off guard. That's when we realized she wasn't in the first stages, of Dementia, like we were told, she's already in the last stages which we weren't prepared for.

Just as we were searching for a nursing home, and trying to get paperwork together, we had to take my Grandmother to the hospital. She blacked out and fell in her kitchen. She's been in the hospital ever since. Yesterday they put her in the nursing home. Right after she went to the hospital, someone called social services, on me and my mom, saying that we were abusing and neglecting my grandmother. Me and my mom were in shock. Social Services could not tell us who called, however whoever it was, called them 3 times in the same week turning us in!!!!! What is wrong with people! We couldn't believe it! After all the work we've been doing, living 45 minutes away from my Grandmother, and driving to her house every day to take care of her, someone has the nerve to accuse us of that. All of my family is dead and I'm the only blood relative left on my dad's side. I'm only 33 years old and I'm taking care of my Mom and Two Grandmothers. This is after watching my Dad die in front of me in November of 2011. With no family left on my dad's side, me and my mom are left alone, to take care of my Grandmother, living so far away. So whoever called Social Services had to be a friend of the family or neighbor trying to stick their noses in what's not their business. So now we are dealing with Social Services on our backs. They've called out house twice since my Grandma went into the hospital and then the nursing home. They keep trying to harrass us and are making threats to take us to probate court.

Social Services actually showed up to talk to my Grandmother, about me and my mom, abusing and neglecting her! My Grandmother exploded at these people and told them to get the f**k out. She told them to mind their own business. I guess she got really nasty according to the doctors at the hospital. My Grandmother defended me and my mom 100 percent in front of everyone. I still can't believe the nerve of some people.

When I questioned Social Services a second time, as to why someone called Social Services on us we were given a different response. This time we were told that, the person that turned us in, believes that either we need to be with my Grandmother 24/7 or she needs to be in a nursing home. Well considering we live 45 minutes away, I'm taking care of another Grandmother who lives 60+ minutes away, that I have to drive to at least 3 times a week, because she cannot walk, and then taking care of my mom who I live with because of HER medical conditions. These people expect me to be in 3 places at once which is impossible. I was also told that whoever they are, they expect me to move in with my Grandmother to take care of her. So I'm just supposed to leave my mother alone,

Sorry for calling you Robert. I looked at your full name and didn't even notice you signing Bob below your response. You can tell where my brain is.

I am having my mom call your office Monday or Tuesday. Whichever day she'll be home. My mom is actually excited to get things going which was a surprise. She's been really depressed over the whole situation, just like me and now her spirits are up a little bit. I reminded her that things may not go, the way she wants them to, or even how my Grandmother wants them to due to the Dementia. I told my mom that you may meet my Grandmother, and she may have an episode while you are there, and not even know how to write her name or understand what you are telling her. I also reminded her that my Grandmother has to say that she wants me Power of Attorney. Otherwise I can't be. So that kinda killed my mom's spirit a little bit. I then told her that my Grandmother may ask my Aunt to be her Power of Attorney. My Aunt is my Grandmother's daughter in law who has been playing caregiver to my Grandmother full time. So because of that my Grandmother wants my Aunt to do EVERYTHING for her. Normally my Grandmother would not want that. Before the Dementia set in my Grandmother and my Aunt did not get along. However since the Dementia she sees my Aunt's face, the most, so she's the one that she relies on and started calling "MOM" recently. Surprised the heck out of us. So I figure whatever makes my Grandmother happy, in the frame of mind she is in is the way we are going to have to go. I don't want her upset more than she already is. She fought us with trying to get a caregiver for her. She also fought us with the nursing home. We didn't want her in the nursing home to begin with but the doctors gave us no choice. The doctors have had to know my Grandmother out with drugs, to get her to calm down and relax in the hospital. Apparently the nursing home had to do something similar. She keeps saying she wants to go home and to let her out. Every time we hear this, it breaks mine and my mom's hearts. We really want to take her home and can't. My Grandmother keeps making the comments, that she is going to die in a nursing home, shortly after being there and that she'll lose who she is. We keep trying to tell her that's not true, and that we are all here, we're not going anywhere, and we'll make sure she has all her stuff from her house with her. It didn't seem to make any difference. Even trying to convince her that things will be ok, it's difficult, because I put myself in her position, and I would most likely be depressed, upset, scared, etc, myself and would want to go home. So I try to talk to her in a way, that I understand and what I personally might do in that situation. It helps a little bit and she seems to calm down. I'm the only person she calms down around. Everyone else seems to upset her in some way. Including my Aunt and my Mom. That's why they both want me to have Power of Attorney like my Dad did. It makes me nervous honestly. But I have to make sure she's taken care of. Even if we have to go to Probate Court to do it.