they were talking money from his paychecks but we couldn't afford to live that way because we had our kids to raise so he quit and they weren't able to take money. He had four kids. And yes the exwife was on public assistance.

Also he asked for a modification and the judge told him
no

If it's public assistance, then they won't compromise the arrears although it's possible to remove the late fees. I don't know what the situation was when the judge denied his modification motion.